Occasionally, the best approach is to allow children to independently come up with their own solutions to challenges they face, or else experience the outcome of their choices firsthand.
The “Built Different” podcast aired on Tuesday in an episode.
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When my daughter leaves her homework at home, she has to live with the consequences. If she forgets her jacket on a cold day, her mother’s words are stuck – there’s no backup help coming for it,” Amen said. “It’s crucial that when a child says ‘I’m bored,’ rather than fixing the situation for them, we ask them to take ownership and figure out what they can do to find their own solution.
Constantly doing things for your children can actually undermine their self-esteem and build your own, whereas allowing them to handle problems and challenges themselves helps develop their mental toughness.
Child psychologist Tovah Klein from Barnard College stated to TPLinkFi.com as far back as last year that attempting to protect kids from facing disappointment won’t actually help them develop resilience either.
Allowing your kids to experience setbacks and mistakes is a good thing, as it teaches them lessons, even if it means they’re difficult for them to go through. You can still be there to support and love them, even when they’re facing tough moments.
According to Klein, this approach is more compassionate and supportive. “This might be tough, and I’ll be here when you’re done,” he says, and adds, “It’s a message of reassurance, essentially saying: I believe in you to get through this difficult situation, and I’ll be with you no matter what happens, whether you’re successful, unsuccessful, or somewhere in between.”
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A situation often arises where individuals are so closely tied to their challenges that it’s becoming clearer to step back, allowing them to discover solutions or figure out their problems independently, rather than over-involving oneself.
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